5 Ways to cope with feeling overwhelmed

Feeling overwhelmed is something I hear a lot from clients.  It’s also something that I have experienced many times in my life. 

Modern life is busy - we are spinning so many plates with work, family, finances not to mention fitting time in to actually do a bit of exercise here and there and do that relaxing thing. There is nothing worse than being told do to ‘self care’ when you feel like you are going to implode with the pressures of life, so don’t worry I’m not going to do that.  Instead, here are 5 practical tried and tested tips you can use to help cope with feeling overwhelmed. 

1. Write a list 

I know it sounds really basic.  But getting a good old fashioned pen and paper out and decanting out your brain is not only therapeutic - but it helps you see in black and white exactly what you need to do, rather than your mind running wild. When you write down your to do list get really clear on when you actually need to do get things done by. Again, we can run wild in our heads putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves.  Get it all out on paper and then you can make a plan. 

2.Plan out each week 

Again nothing revolutionary here. But consciously spending 20 minutes on a Sunday planning out your diary for the week can really help reduce down the stress.  Put in your appointments, but then plan out when you are going to actually get things done. Block out time for working on specific items, or doing things such as the cleaning. This helps you get realistic about your time and stops you from panicking about when you are going to get the time to do things. 

3. How can you make things easier for yourself?

Look at your diary and lists and really think about how you can make things easier for yourself.  This might be saying no to social commitments that you don’t really want to go to.  Or it could be as simple as arranging for the weekly food shop to be delivered rather than you traipsing round Tesco on a Sunday with everyone else. Look at what you can control and do what you can to make this as easy as possible for yourself. Let go of everything else.

4. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries! 

Boundaries are so important when it comes to feeling less overwhelmed.  Boundaries are how we teach others how to treat us.  So think about where you are letting people get away with things, or saying yes to things when you really mean no.  Get really good at only saying yes to things that you really want to do, its not selfish, it means you have more energy for the things you do want to do and spending time with those you love and care about. 

5. Get outside

Ok there had to be a bit of self care in here. One thing I absolutely swear by when I feel overwhelmed is getting my trainers on, grabbing Evie the dog and going for a walk.  It only has to be a quick 10 minutes if you are short on time, but getting out and away from the stresses of life can do wonders for your stress levels.  Being out in nature can help put things into perspective too.  Having a dog means I have to get out every day, but even if you don’t have a four legged mate, a quick whizz around the block in the evening will help clear your mind and help you feel less overwhelmed. 

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Just start - ray’s story

I’ve been a professional musician for well over 10 years and during that time, studied a Masters at the Royal Academy of Music, and I’m now working toward a PhD in the well-being of musicians. However my journey has not been straightforward, and I’ve had many challenges to overcome along the way.  As a result of this, Apollo was an idea or dream I’d had for a long time as a way of using my career in music,  my own personal challenges and the tools and techniques I’ve learned along the way to help others achieve their goals. 

To paint a picture of where it all started, let me take you back to 2013 during the Masters programme. I was living in London, and found the whole experience quite isolating until a friend started to introduce me to some amazing concert venues, restaurants and other arty places of interest. I believed that I needed to just knuckle down and get on with the course, as students did. London had so much to offer but I wasn’t making the most of it, instead, during my first year I found myself practicing violin for hours, attending classes and not a lot else. 

As part of my Masters, I started a pathway class, a compulsory part of my qualification, which was a new class called ‘Enhanced Performance Techniques’ run by Sophie Langdon. She used a number of different well-being techniques to help Academy students confront stresses within the performance world, including stage anxiety and performance preparation. 

I had responded very well to the class and felt much more confident and prepared for all aspects of performance, all because the classes taught me to take a step back and focus on myself, rather than allowing my mind to get swallowed by the room. 

It was then in the summer of 2014, mid-way through my masters course I had a traumatic experience of breaking my wrist. As a violinist part way through a course, this was possibly the worst thing that could happen. Shortly after this, I had to have surgery on my tonsils. 

I had to go back to the Academy with a cast on my arm and a fat throat, not knowing how I would be able to continue with my course. I was struggling with my mental health and I didn’t know what was around the next corner. This was a hugely stressful time.

The pathway class totally saved me as I used the techniques and the training to do as much mental practice and calming mindful exercises as I could, as for many months I was unable to physically perform. I was able to use tools such as visualization and meditation to control my anxiety and work towards the performances without physically playing. After many months of being out of action  I finally pushed through the performance exams and graduated in July of 2015. 

After graduation I was having further  issues with my wrist and eventually opted for exploratory surgery with Dr John White in Harley Street.  Again not an easy decision to make as it meant more time away from performing.  However, I knew that with my new toolbox of mental techniques I would be able to cope. 

One very long operation later, and weeks of recovery I was finally able to get my career back on track. 

I gained the confidence to start performing again, and during this time continuously thinking of ways my experiences could potentially help others. The techniques I had learned needed research and so I enrolled at the University of Sussex on a PhD programme which I am currently working towards in collaboration with Sophie Langdon and the Royal Academy of Music. 

Although there are unions for musicians which many professions don’t have access to, I felt that there was a need for a service to be able to offer a range of holistic support to musicians. 

Time went on, and I was working as a peripatetic teacher in Chichester.  The idea of Apollo never left my mind. It was just a matter of how to get started.  I’d decided to just focus on my PhD and trust that I would know when the right time to start would be. 

It was then in September 2021 I had a lesson enquiry from Emily who actually lived opposite my old home.  In lessons Emily and I would chat, and it turned out we both had shared interest in holistic therapies, yoga and alternative health. Emily is a coach, and has a business so we would talk about future prospects and where we both hope to be in a number of years. I told Emily about my ideas for Apollo and she asked ‘why haven’t you started yet’? 

I gave the excuse about my PhD, and without knowing it Emily then gave me a sneaky coaching session.  By the end of the lesson we had set up the business.  

What began as a music lesson, resulted in a business.

Apollo will officially launch in September 2022. 

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